windy in wheaton

Quick update, I have arrived! My body seemingly could not get here fast enough. I’ve just been hanging out with the horsies at the Danda Forest Preserve waiting for my hotel check in time.

Tips if you are doing 15-16 hour driving days back to back – 1) don’t, this is probably trauma induced hypomania, 2) space out your adhd meds so you take one when you first wake up, and one in the late afternoon, 3) Save caffeine till you really feel a dip, and spike at the end. Make sure it’s a few hours after the adhd meds so you don’t have heart palpitations, 4) cold is your best friend. I kept the temp at 69 (nice) and used the fancy cooling seat in the tesla. But the most important part is having an open cup of ice water in one of the cup holders. Use it to rub on your eyes and face and back of the neck. Dipping a cloth in works great too. Dip your hand in to get a little shot in the arm, and you can also splash a tiny bit on the top of your head (just make sure to lean your head back not forward, so the water doesn’t go in your eyes).

but also at the same time….refer to tip #1

Parts of Oklahoma were devistating, getting to see it with partial cloud cover. There was one section that had me equal parts sobbing and slack jawwed. You could see infinity stretch out in all directions. I had the weird thought, I want to be married here. I want to feel this infinity when I bind my soul to the love of my life.

Unfortunently, I didn’t get any videos of that part. The camera wouldn’t do it justice, but also the country roads were sketch af. (65mph speed limit on narrow 2 lane roads is insane. I was flying high, defying gravity on those rolling hills, but God damn I’m glad for how few people I had to pass.) I did get some pretty great shots of the sunrise, pulling out of Amarillo.

Here in the burbs, that wonderful feeling is back. I was trying to find the words to properly describe it. I’m reminded of Nerf Wars – while Dylan was in college, every year his school would have this multi day long zombie outbreak game with Nerf Guns. Most interior spaces were safe zones. That’s sort of what I’m feeling here. The phrase that keeps coming up is, “you can’t get me, this is my bubble.” I don’t live in a particular sketchy neighborhood in Phoenix, so not sure where that is coming from. There’s also a sense of..hmm..maybe being more grounded, and thus more powerful? Regardless, I am so happy, and so settled nervous system wise. I’m already dreading leaving. 😵‍💫

A final thing, as is now tradition I suppose, I have my driving playlist. I think these will be fun to look back on many years from now. Music has such a visceral connection to memory.