I recorded a vlog of this, but suprise to no-one, it was very rambly. Let’s see if I can make this daily vacay update a little more succinct. (I drank all of my ros’e so…the odds are low).
I had a shopping day, with a few specific goals. First, I needed some replacement uhuhu markers. Ofc I walked out of the Michael’s with 100+ dollars of nonsense. Tbf, I think I will get good use of the colored microns and glitter paint pens. There’s nothing I love more than burning retinas with highlighter yellow and sparkles.
In the same lot as Michael’s was a Menards, which – I knew it was a classic midwest thing, but how did I know that? An Eddy Burback video. I am hopeless. I did have the childlike joy of walking through the light fixture section like a 5 year old completely entranced by Christmas lights.
Twice now when I’ve been asked why I’ve come out to Chicago by people who are at least over 30, and I mention danny, they have said “oh, I think I’ve heard of him.” Both times in my mind I’ve said, fuck yeah you have. I don’t know if it’s right to be proud of someone you don’t know…but my heart was so, so happy none the less. …why is that making me kind of tearful? It’s not sad, I just…it’s fine. I don’t even know if danny wants to be more famous. It’s a double edged sword, and number go up isn’t always the goal. But also at the same time. FUCK YES YOU HAVE HEARD OF DANNY GONZALEZ, JUST YOU WAIT FOR HIM TO TAKE THE COMEDY WORLD BY STORM MOTHER FUCKER.
It’s similar to Jerma, honestly. Is a 35 year old mom gunna be watching a 4 hour gaming live stream? No, but there are a lot of millenial moms who would love his wholesome, quirky persona. It’s all about the packaging. Also I… I dream of the day when danny does more music live. I recently went to an artsy fartsy coffee shop in Mesa, and it had a little set up for local musicians – I was brain blasted by the fantasy of “fox szn” performing, without any reference to danny, just totally covert. I kknnnoowww he would charm everyone’s socks off, I just. I just!
ANYWAY. I made a stop at a metaphysical store, to look for some stones with allegedly “calming” properties. I plan to shove them in my bra for danny’s show, and pretend to emit a soothing aura that’ll help the kids be chill. Honestly, my inner child will not give up the idea that all the effort I put forth to energetically support danny (when I saw him in batavia) did help. If all this does is keep me calm, no harm no foul. Still – if in my lifetime, we learn more about frequencies and a collective unconscious, you all have to let me say I told you so.
The last thing I’ll include is just some silliness I saw at the fox valley mall. According to the weather forecast, we are on the other side of the worst of the storms. As I was driving around today I did see many actually green trees. Also the yellow flowers I only saw in the arboretum before have sprouted all over, in almost every grassy patch. In phoenix we similarly have yellow wildflowers – I call them my birthday flowers because they bloom exactly around late February and early March. It really is starting to look like a picture book again, and I am in awe and enraged at the same time. Time to double down on the plein air!
(I almost got that Pegasus mat, since he is a minor yugioh character that doesn’t get much love. I’m always drawn in by the anime ladies too …my taste in girls is that of a 12 year old boy. Sometimes I see them and I get the old twinge of jealousy. I forget what has happened to me. I’ve said before, but my whole life I was the most flat chested person I knew, even into my early thirties. It was one of my biggest insecurities, especially being the same size I am now and somehow still being a washboard. That changed suddenly and rapidly after getting medicine for my PCOS and…I can really only describe it as like, if you were a guy and you had been 5’9 your whole life, and suddenly at 31 you grew to 6’4. It shouldn’t be possible, and it’s not even the physical part that’s the hardest to navigate, it’s the emotional/psychological part. Fortunently I can hide it, and guys don’t really care because of my size, but for the 12 year old girl in me who use to look at those anime girls and hope beyond hope, pray without a prayer…it’s odd. For better or worse, it has given me the delulu that dreams that seem LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE, may, in fact, somehow come true. Even ones as silly as having anime lady…endowments T_T)
>>robyns_ramblings 