I spent pretty much all day yesterday doing my voice memo thing. I say that because when observing myself, the process is more like a combined inhale and exhale. I follow an intuitive wave to some place, or pull on a loose thought string. I look deeply, spin stories, find meaning. I set up the rough notes on my little stool, take a swig of water, and start my improv monologue into my phone. It’s important to describe that full process because I did have a sense I was releasing a backlog. It just wasn’t a topic based one. It was energetic.
I went back and forth on splitting these up between posts. I’m continuing to refine the format of this blog as I hone in on it’s true purpose. As of now I’m looking at it more like a live updated archive. With that in mind, drip feeding content is much less a consideration, vs grouping content within posts that are cohesive and easier to find. I need to let go of this inherited model in my mind from algorithmic platforms, where everything is catered towards getting the content consumed as quickly and completely as possible, by the most people possible. This blog has almost the opposite intention. It was created as a record of my creative release valve. Come when you when you want, browse the buffet of content, take what resonates at leave what doesn’t, etc etc. When I inevitably move to private hosting I may create some more deliberate structure, but for now I think dumping and intuitively organizing honors my flowstate best.
Another consideration to do with catering to an audience was AI background noise removal. It’s native in the samsung galaxy I have, but there isn’t an easy way to export the file with that filter applied. That friction made me pause, and question whether there was something philosophically amiss with cleaning up this otherwise raw experience with AI. I know I know I knowwwwwww I’m Chidi-ing out, but bare with me for a sec. There is a moment in the first audio where a revving car engine gives some pretty uncanny synchronis emphasis to what I was saying. That would be lost in the polishing. The back half of the recording is not clean, but my voice is understandable, at least as I tested it in my car on the freeway with the AC on. It’s a tradeoff, the real answer is to use more foresight in my recording location. I dunno though. Isn’t mess that adds narrative without destroying clarity my bag?
At the Chandler mall — reflecting on how my Uncle George inspires and lives on in me, how redefining cringe from hierarchical to horizontal observation is the gateway to true social justice, and how in God’s name I will ever find the boy for me.
This is a quick voice memo I sent to Laura, chronologically before the one above. I evoke the smell as spiritual sense in this without context, so I sound slightly less insane with that in mind LOL —
This last one was prompted by something we talked about in my inpatient – secrets. My real secret, secret even to myself until just today: performance, music…maybe it’s not just an intrusive visceral fantasy. Maybe..hidden deep in my heart of hearts…I want it……
>>robyns_ramblings 